So many thoughts have been rolling around in my brain over these past few sessions. And I'm not even talking about the things we've sorta touched upon in class (or saved for the Parking Lot session) like, the "why...?" of the seemingly ruthless and decidedly lethal nature of God's decrees over entire cultures and their animals (herem warfare), or the "wut...??" of the seeming arbitrariness of God's "punishment" of one person over another (i.e. condemnation of the people but not Aaron in the Golden Calf affair of Exodus 32; the totality of the destruction of the Korahites in Numbers 16-17 vs the "mere" 7 day ostracization of Miriam in Numbers 12 for challenging Moses' authority), or of His "favor" removed from tribal lines of obviously still clueless Israelite families (i.e. the Golden Calf affair; the bitter complaining of people lost in their own literal and metaphorical "desert" throughout the books of Numbers, Kings and Judges). Those lessons are hard ones indeed, and in the academic study of an ancient people set apart in an ancient place to lead the world back to God as priests and kings, watching them being chosen, studying their own choosing, stuttering, falling, failing, getting up again, being carried, lifted, guided, growing...and choosing again...it's easy enough to remove myself from any familiarity or applicability to my own life.
But I loved what Lorraine said to me in one of our study prep conversations: "Sure, gaining more knowledge about the biblical storyline is important. But, just as important are the personal applications, like, "So...which tribe am I...?" Whoa.
Once again, I am reminded that it's the whole "seeing the BIGGER picture" thing that makes this particular study so deep...so deeply layered in HolySpirit-heart and thus requiring HolySpirit-discernment and guidance and reminding of God's unchanging and unchangeable nature of love, His desire for us to have, give and live life to the fullest. Back then...and now.
As we head into the Royal Kingdom Part 1, I am imagining the despair of a people still spiritually lost in the desert wanderings of their unsure hearts and broken commitments, even as they continue to fight the physical battles to claim and reclaim the lands they keep losing to the peoples who just won't be displaced. (Egads, how I love the depth of that phrase! Selah on that one for a while!) And I begin to think about the real battle that rages oh-so-silently within the nation, within the tribes, within the families, and more importantly, within each individual person...back then and still, if I am honest with my self, to this very day. As I read about the people believing themselves to be "leaderless" and indeed, the leaders themselves feeling cast out, adrift and forgotten...I have to wonder who, exactly, has done the casting out...? WHO has done the casting adrift...the forgetting...the forsaking? I remember a fellow student who used to say that it takes only THREE generations of neglect to totally forget...for oral history to fade...for family traditions to be lost.
"After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the LORD nor what He had done for Israel..." (Judges 2:10)
"In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes." (Judges 17:6, 21:25)
It is a known biological fact that when I feel "uncovered", unprotected, uncensored and unguided, my own mechanisms of self-centered self-preservation will kick in and the choices I make will be first and foremost to protect and further self, and secondly do the same for those that are closest and most meaningful (useful?) to me. Unity and communication with distant brethren fades, trust between "others not like us" breaks down, and I invariably live my life in survival mode.
I am thinking that this is the mindset of the nation of people we are continuing to study this week. I get that sense of the daily grind of each person, plodding along in the day-to-day tasks of keeping the crops yielding, the sacrifices burning, the inheritances (and apparently the donkeys!) from getting lost. And with each passing day, the nation as a whole is fracturing, fractured, their sense of leadership, promise and hope ebbing away into lost causes and long forgotten origins. But most of all, that life-giving relationship garnered, rooted, begun in the creation of love above Garden of Eden--of God and man, God with man, man with and in God--is now almost non-existent.
Hear the word of the Lord, people of Israel,
for the Lord has a case
against the inhabitants of the land:
There is no truth, no faithful love,
and no knowledge of God in the land!
Cursing, lying, murder, stealing,
and adultery are rampant;
one act of bloodshed follows another.
For this reason the land mourns,
and everyone who lives in it languishes,
along with the wild animals and the birds of the sky;
even the fish of the sea disappear....
...My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. (Hosea 4:1-3,6a)
Ugh.
hah...so MANY things are going through my head right now! Ok, so in the wee hours of Friday morning, we had to shut off the water supply to our house emergently due to a leak. For the good part of the morning, we struggled to find an available plumber before the weekend's arrival, not knowing how much longer we would have to be without water for showering, cooking, cleaning, flushing toilets or even brushing our teeth. Wow...talk about sudden remembrance of my days in Africa's dry season where, as I've recounted before, we would hoard every teeny drop of water that dripped oh-so-slowly out of our rusty faucets, hoping to collect enough for cooking or maybe even for washing our face at the end of the day. You can imagine the intense feelings of thanksgiving and joy filled relief we felt when, once the repair was completed, we heard the popping and singing of our pipes as Mike turned the main water valve to ON and our upstairs spigots came to life, water bursting out in huge wonderful fits and spurts! woohoooo!!
Oh, how much more thankful I was for my shower that night.
So, I guess I am thinking about how easily we forget the things we take for granted in the daily grind of our daily lives. How easily we forget the the privilege we have gotten used to, the thankfulness that keeps us humble and on our knees, the recognition that in God's grace, I am given the things I never deserved, and in His mercy, I am spared the things I really do deserve. And then I realize that I am no different from the Israelites--at the end of the day, in my exhaustion and frustration and, yes, even in my routine, I too, forget to remember!
"You shall eat your fill and bless the Lord your God for the good land that He has given you. Take care that you do not forget the Lord your God, by failing to keep His commandments, His ordinances, and His statutes, which I am commanding you today. When you have eaten your fill and have built fine houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks have multiplied, and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied, then do not exalt yourself, forgetting the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, an arid wasteland with poisonous snakes and scorpions. He made water flow for you from flint rock, and fed you in the wilderness with manna that your ancestors did not know, to humble you and to test you, and in the end to do you good. Do not say to yourself, “My power and the might of my own hand have gotten me this wealth.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, so that He may confirm his covenant that He swore to your ancestors, as He is doing today. If you do forget the Lord your God and follow other gods to serve and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish." (Deut 8:10-19, NRSVCE, emphasis added)
WHO is in the ark that stands between me and my "foe"? WHO sits upon the throne in the throne-room of my heart? WHO do I call upon when I have questions or doubts or decision to make? WHO do I allow to influence my heart, my emotions, my actions and reactions? in WHOM do I place my hopes and my trust and upon WHOM do I depend for my strength, my provision and my protection?
WHO is my God today?
