Thoughts from Session 8

Hi ladies!

Wow--it’s been awhile! Ok, so let’s get our blog discussions going again--new year! New decade! Renewed hearts and HolySpirit-given, HolySpirit-driven wonder-filled thoughts! 

Helen--thank you for being the first to start off our new year with a post about God’s provision for us...even with the things the world would consider “mundane”: shoes, sandals, clothes that don’t wear out despite 40 years of wandering in the desert. Amen to that, yes? After having spent many years in Africa, where in the height of the dry season, we would leave our faucets wide open in the morning and hope that the meager collection of occasional drips that fell would be enough to rinse our dishes or wash our faces at the end of the long hot day...I get it. Amen to God’s provision in even the little things! I have to tell you--because of those years, every morning it is literally a heavenly privilege to stand, thought-filled and thankful, in the soothing streams of my shower! HUGE AMEN to that!!

As we mentioned in class last week, we have finally stepped out of the Pentateuch and into the “living the life-application” part of our bible adventure! All of the life-lessons in “trust” are now being manifested...with each promise spoken, each conquest foretold, each decision tossed up for the making. I think my favorite lesson from last week (session 8) was the crazy hard concept of choosing to trust.  After being shown again and again that our God is a God of Covenant, proving over and over to His people that He IS a God of provision, purpose, love and protection, the question for the Israelites is no longer “CAN I trust the Lord...?” but “WILL I trust the Lord!” 

Not too different for us now, yes? I sometimes think to myself: how many more times must the Lord ply me with provisions beyond my every need before I, too, move from “CAN I trust” to “WILL I trust”…?  And suddenly, I realize that the onus falls squarely upon my own shoulders...to choose.

He humbled you and allowed you to be hungry and fed you with manna, [a substance] which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, so that He might make you understand [by personal experience] that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord. (Deut 8:3, Amplified)

I remember a commentary that taught “every word that proceeds” is actually a phrase that means “everything”--as in “every creative word” of God; that “word” that is creative, determining man’s need, desires, wants and provisions. Whoa.

Delight yourself in the Lord;

And He will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps 3:4, NASB)

HE will place my desires there. HE will determine my need, my wants, my desires...and fulfill them--with HIS provisions!

What DO I carry in my heart? In whom or in what do I delight? WHO do I allow to place desires and hopes, dreams and wants, needs and demands...into my heart?

Good stuff, ladies! How about you? What were your thoughts from last week and this?

Today during the study this stood out to me.  

New International Version

Yet the LORD says, "During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.


What this means to me is that normal things that should happen in the everyday did not happen.   My kids go through shoes at least a pair every year.   Walking in the wilderness with harsh weather you’d expect maybe two or three pairs of sandals a year.

God gave the people what they needed to make it through.
Sandals and clothes didn’t wear out over 40 years!   I believe that God will provide all that we need for our journey, including the Holy Spirit so we are never alone. 

Thank you God!

Thoughts on False gods

I was thinking about what Cavins says in the final Application questions from this past week:

"The incident of the golden calf shows that it is one thing to bring Israel out of Egypt, but it is another to get Egypt out of Israel. God's children will continue to struggle with an attraction to other gods. You might not be tempted to erect a golden calf in your living room, but are there other things, ideas, or people you give credit for God's work in your life? Are there other things you put before Him...?"

I love the concept that God totally gets that His people are in sore need of diligent teaching that will lead them out of their "true slavery"--the one that occupies their hearts and minds. But more importantly, I love that Cavins brings to light that this same form of "slavery" still exists today--in our own hearts, minds and actions...every day...

We've been reading how God is teaching His newly formed "holy nation"...a nation of people "set apart" BY God, to learn to live and walk WITH God, in order to teach and unify the people of the world FOR God. As we journey through the often tedious passages of ritual and ceremonial laws for purification and sanctification in worship and daily living, we are watching as God is literally teaching them, step by step, day by day, group by group to memorize and follow His mind and heart requirements SO that they can continue to grow and prosper as a nation, learn to hear Him, see only Him, and so follow Him rightly, do by Him justly, re-present Him fully.

But, where is the message meant for us now...? Can the same words we are studying now speak to us today...?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deut 6:4-9)

In this awesome teaching from the book of Deuteronomy, God essentially tells His people to relate the Word of God to everything in their daily lives:  Think constantly about them, focus always upon them, teach them to the children, live each moment by them....in other words--get to know them REALLY well and then walk under, in, by and with them at all times. It occurred to me how much harder it must have been back then. I mean, it wasn't like everyone had stone copies to set upon their coffee table or carry around in their gunny sacks--and certainly no footnotes helped explain anything except the ever-growing verbal ones passed along from the most God-led of the wise-ones: the chosen High Priests and eventually the Prophets.

But then, I realized yes, we too, have access to the words of God through Scripture, with versions in multiple translations that can be found in almost any language in the world along with footnotes to bend and interpret, to do life-application, concordance and cross-referencing for us without us having to do much more than turn the page.
I also realized that in the New Testament, Jesus exhorts us towards the same things: to "seek Him", "hearing" and "recognizing" His voice, "knowing" who He is, "writing His Words upon our minds and the laws upon our hearts"... Through Christ's sacrificial work of redemption upon the cross, He sent us the HolySpirit to dwell within us--to BE the voice of our High Priest and Prophet...all within us.

This is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel
    after those days, says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their minds,
    and write them on their hearts,
and I will be their God,
    and they shall be my people.
11 And they shall not teach one another
    or say to each other, ‘Know the Lord,’
for they shall all know Me,
    from the least of them to the greatest.
12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,    and I will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:10-12, NRSCV)

How awesome is this, yes? Truly, it sounds like we should be in the easy part now--hearing God, recognizing Him, knowing Him well enough to have a truely active and working relationship IN, WITH and THROUGH Him...right?  

But, somehow...even with the HolySpirit within me, with the graces of His creation and love filling me and nourishing me...well, to be honest, it's the world that still tends to grab my attention and hold me--that plethora of "other gods" whose cacophony of voices fills my ears and weighs down my spirit. And so, like for the Israelites wandering begrudgingly through their desert in Exodus and now in Numbers, I have to wonder what really fills my mind and heart in my every day moments? With my every breath, my every step, in my every situation and circumstance--in the good ones and the "bad" ones--do I really know who (or what!) sits upon the throne of my mind and heart? To whom or to what am I listening...who or what rules over me, driving my decisions, giving me my perspective, guiding my actions or reactions...? Is it God's HolySpirit? or, egads, if not...then what or who have I allowed to supplant Christ in the throne room of my heart and mind?  Ok ok, so absolutely, we all know about honoring the money god, and the power god, and the intellect or beauty god. But how about the gods that are disguised as other things like:  Unforgiveness. Worry. Jealousy. Contempt. Guilt. Conceit. Pride. Regret. Blame. Fear. Shame. Anxiety.  Oh, and big ones for the world lately: Indifference...and Condemnation without regard...

THOU SHALT HAVE NO GODS BEFORE ME.

I remember a powerful teaching from many years ago about false gods:

  Anything that takes my focus off of the face of my God...is another god to me.  

  Anything that I spend time on that is not rooted in AGAPE...is another god to me.  

  Anything that blocks my view of, or even dims my sights on my God...is another god to me.

  Anything that I allow to steal the fruits of the Holy Spirit from my life, or that blinds me from seeing His blessings in every moment...is another god to me. 
Anything that causes me to fear...is another god to me.

I can still clearly recall when one of my teachers reminded me that in the days I had spent fretting about "how horribly so-and-so in my family/friend circle treats me", causing me to dread the next visit or phone call or meeting instead of confidently working with and IN Him to sow seed of HIS peace and joy...I was honoring another god. And every time I mulled over how terribly I had played at a concert and freaked over the next one instead of relishing His gift of music and allowing HIM to play through me...I was honoring another god. And every minute I spent taking control over something or from someone because "I could do it better" instead of ennobling them to step up to the plate and use their own God-given gifts...I was honoring another god!

wow...and here I thought I was pretty good at honoring ONLY the One True God!! Suddenly, I am right back there with the Israelites, wandering through my rather lush "desert", complaining and bowing to the gods of disdain, contempt, and disregard, unsatisfied in my "have-nots" and not thankful enough for the over-abundance of manna and flowing waters in and around me.

Amen that God totally knows that I am but dust and that even in my best state I cannot follow the letter of the law to the "T".  But, more importantly, (and this is where our graces differ so HUGELY from the ancients' in the Old Testament): even in my worst state of penitence and sin, I am freed from the curse of the law--that one that says I have to give up my "life blood" because I've broken down and totally blown my side of the covenant; I am freed from the curse of death because Christ already gave up His life blood in the place of mine. However, in that freedom, I am given a rather hard choice to make...

Truly, "all" I have to do now is take the choice to "love Him back"--and it's literally a matter of releasing myself totally INTO that incredible healing and transforming love that HE gives to me through His HolySpirit within me, and then... to walk with Him in it. By my own FREE WILL.  And here's the interesting part that I think the Israelites had difficulty grasping: to love God, I have to trust Him; and to trust Him, I have to know Him; and to know Him, I have to have RELATIONSHIP with Him....always gets back to that, doesn't it?  Relationship--it's that wonderful "thing" that God is ultimately building in His nation of peoples...from the time before The Fall, til now.

Anyway, I guess, after a rather tedious week of illness and hunkering down in snot-laden self-pity, what really hit me is this: sometimes it is really hard to recognize the well-disguised gods in our lives.  But I think if I can just remember to step back and ask myself: "Wait--exactly what IS my motive?"  "Where IS my focus right now?" and "Am I trusting in Him in this moment, with this situation, no matter what HIS outcome?", then my relationship with and IN a God that loves ALL of us beyond comprehension and truly desires us to be "blessed, holy and blameless" can remain strong and growing. Then, instead of focusing upon myself and in the "filthy rags" I may try to call my "best" (Is 64:6), I will always be "refocusing" my sights upon Him--on His gifts of LIVING (instead of dying), LOVE (instead condemnation) and FAITH (instead of fear). And in this way, maybe I can actually start walking...in the Promised Land!

Yes, God has been calling us Beloved since the moment we were a spark in His eternal eye. When will we start walking in that Truth?

Some thoughts on Egypt and Exodus Part 2

HI ladies!

Wow--sounds like I missed yet an another awesome discussion session. Thank you to EVERYONE for joining in and helping Lorraine carry the load whilst I literally slept through the gradually loosening grip of my chest illness this morning. And judging from the fact that, for the first time in three days, I finally actually wanted to crawl out from under the five quilts on my bed, I think the fever has finally broken for good!! YAY!!

So, since I wasn’t there to partake of the wonderful discussions and hear what incredible HolySpirit pearls were being handed around and shared, I am BEGGING everyone to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write in about anything that hit you the most--start a new POST or add a new comment to the group! I would LOVE to hear what the HolySpirit has been speaking into you and your circumstances throughout this week! Share--and let everyone who cannot be with us in person follow along a little better on this amazing journey through the Pentateuch!

Ok, so, I have to say that there were a couple of really foundational Truths that hit me from this week's study. Even though I couldn't be there in person, I wanted to share what thoughts have been rolling around in my feverish head all weekend long. Here we go!!

(from Q1) TRUTH:  THE LORD CHOSE US TO BE HIS--even from the beginning of beginnings:

You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you. (John 15:16 Amplified)

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. (1 Peter 2:9, NRSVCE)

But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters loved by the Lord, because God chose you as firstfruits (from the beginning) to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. (2 Thess 2:13, NRSVCE)

wow...we are CHOSEN (not by our merit or effort--but because He so loves us and desires for us to be an intimate part of HIM!).

While thinking about this, I began to contemplate the importance of the "firstborn" in the cultural history that we have been studying...about what it means that He "loves us as His firstborn" and desires us to be "blessed, holy, and blameless"--ie to be completely IN Him (ok, ok, so I was studying Eph 1:4-14 last week, which so beautifully works into the message about why we are "chosen by God" and "what for...?" Take a look at Paul's awesome words to the Ephesians in Eph 1:4-14...crazy thing that came to me: these words are meant for us!) 

But, anyway, I realized that to get some real insight into the depth of God's desire for us, I had to do a little concordance study...so here we go: 

First I finally began to understand that the role of the 'firstborn' in the Hebrew families (especially the male) was an especially important and revered position.  He was considered the pride and privileged heir of the family NAME and HONOR. In Moses' time, the "first-born" son acquired not only the wealth and provenance of the family, he also took over the "kingship" and "priestly" authority of the father: in other words, they became the rulers, lawgivers and protectors of the family as well as held the role of leading the family in worship and sacrifice--very BIG roles in the family rule, dynamics, and unity. (As a poignant side note, think about the implication then, when Esau "gave up" his firstborn birthrights...for a pot of stew!!)

Ok, so, going back to Exodus 19:1-6, I realized that there are THREE things God spoke over and named His people: 

1) "My Treasured Possession"

2) "A Kingdom of Priests"

3) "A Holy Nation"

To understand fully the implications of these statements, I began to look into the privilege (and responsibilities!) of each position in the Hebrew times: 

Obviously, to be the "treasured possession" (in some translations, it might be "My own possession"--ooo, love the sound of that!) indicates a fierce love of and pride in us as not just something that belongs to Him, but something dear and desired, carefully and lovingly handled and aggressively protected.  (Wow... what a wonderful position to be GIVEN under an all-powerful and all-knowing God!! Think about that one for a moment...!) 

Next, remember that "holy" comes from the word "qadash" meaning to "set apart or dedicate SOLEY for the Lord" (as in priests; or consecrated places or objects; or for sacrifice). 

Finally, it's a given fact that priests in any religion, but especially the ones familiar to the Hebrews of the day, were "specially chosen" people... they were usually "called" in some manner--either hand-picked or handed over (as in dedication to family line)--in any case, usually implying long periods of special training and the passing down of very privileged knowledge and skills. However, the priestly function for the Hebrew family BEFORE the covenant at Sinai, was the given role of the father of the family--they held the responsibility of teaching the family about God, preparing them and caring for them spiritually in all manners, for representing their family before God and adequately presenting God to the family.

Then, at the covenant at Sinai, (the one that begins in Exodus 19 and ends with its ratification ceremony in Exodus 24), the Lord reconfirms His desire to have the firstborn males (in ALL respects--sons, cattle, sheep) consecrated to Him--the sons to serve in the "priestly role" for the family and the animals as sacrifice (Exodus 22:29).  Here, the Lord set up the line of Aaron (in the "tribe of Levi"--or the "Levites"), to form the "order of priests and High Priests" (Exodus 28), who would perform the daily sacrifices, maintain the tabernacle, and counsel the people on how to follow God. The firstborn males of all of the other tribes would still be dedicated to God and assist Aaron's line in their priestly functions.  

But, AFTER the "golden calf affair", God TOOK AWAY the privilege of the firstborn males to be priests and gave the privilege solely to the tribe of Levites (the only ones who rallied to Moses' call for the Lord and who did not participate in the golden calf idol worship at the base of the mountain.  (Exodus 28:25-29) (side note: we will learn in more detail about this new distinction when we study Numbers 3.)  

Egads, I thought...ok, but WHY would the Israelites stoop so soon to such disregard of their "One True God"--the one who saved them...?. And so I came to the sad but all-too-familiar realization (one that still stands for us today): already the Israelites' PERSISTENT IGNORANCE OF and MISTRUST IN the God they were supposed to be following was causing their separation from the One who could protect and provide for them in all things!  Even after the Lord had made a covenant with His people (which the people themselves ratified in blood!) to BE THEIR GOD and protect them even as He had protected them as He brought them out of slavery....even as He "showed Himself" to them in the form of a pillar of light at night and a pillar of cloud at day...even when they heard Him speak and--through Moses and Aaron--saw Him perform the most incredible miracles like making water bubble out of a rock and bread come out of nowhere, the people still DID NOT REALLY BELIEVE in Him enough to trust Him!!  Wut...?

Once again, I was totally brought back to the issue of STATE of HEART and seeking true relationship with and IN the God I say I follow...and that terribly difficult CHOICE to truly walk in that trust--or not.  

Huge Truth for me: Where in my life or for what circumstances do I not really believe He is "there" for me? What part of my heart (my family? my job? my finances? my ministry? my state of forgiveness and redemption...??) have I not yet fully given over to God in absolute TRUST and THANKSGIVING...? And, IF I claim that I KNOW God and I PROFESS to follow Him then...HOW do I walk in that profession of faith...in word only? or in heartfelt and Spirit-driven, Spirit-led, Spirit-fed faith-driven steps...with every breath, every thought, every act...every moment?

Truly, as Cavins said--Part One was about "WHO do I follow? WHO do I truly claim as my "GOD"? and this week in Part Two, it is all about "HOW do I follow Him?" (...or "it"...or whatever I actually declare in the deepest recesses of my heart as the god of my circumstance: money? status? beauty? wealth? worry/guilt/blame/resentment/fear, etc...?) 

Cool stuff to seriously consider, yes?

Ok, so the next part is also a little convoluted, but it really struck a chord in me about "sacrifice", so bear with me as I talk it through:

Here we have an incredible situation:  At Sinai, God has revealed His awesome plan to the Israelites--THEY, out of ALL peoples in the world at that time, have been CHOSEN from the beginning of beginnings to be HIS ROYAL HEIRS.  He is finally making it clear that the long awaited time has come for the fulfillment of the first of His 3-part covenant to Abraham...to make Israel HIS FAMILY NATION. With Israel--His "firstborn"--God is once again building His family, but on a national level this time:  Israel is to be for the family of nations, what the firstborn was in the ancient family system--priest and king. They are to enter into that "specially hand-picked dedicated" line of people whose place is to be the "light that will lead the nations"--set apart (ie "holy") to set examples of righteous living, justice and wisdom with and IN Him. Indeed, THEY would be "the way" for the salvation of the entire world (His ULTIMATE PLAN!!) 

As Cavins likes to point out--therein lies the plot:  the Lord knows that the Israelites are primed and ready to begin a lasting and intimate relationship IN Him--to LEAD the way as priests and kings for the developing "world family", guiding the rest of this "world-family" into HIS family--GOD's FAMILY!!...wow.

And, in understandable awe, the twelve tribes of Isreal accept the honor (Exod 24:1-8) and the covenant is sealed with the BLOOD OF SACRIFICE.  

ok--gotta selah on that one!  The metaphor behind this still blows me away:  to enter into the family of God takes sacrifice--not just any sacrifice--but the sacrifice of that which represents life and family:  BLOOD (think "blood lines", "pure blood", "blood is thicker than water"). To enter into the family of God takes "sacrifice" to the deepest level and then binds us to Him with and IN that very real and vital substance that gives us our physical life.  As a physician and surgeon, this speaks so loudly to me for, as I have mentioned to some of you in the past, I was taught firsthand the reality of the nature of life-blood. I will never forget when, as I desperately tried to hold my grasping fingers over the gaping hole torn in the heart of a man with a huge dissecting aortic aneurysm, now lying--dying--on my operating table, I could do absolutely nothing to staunch the ocean of blood. I was absolutely and totally helpless, watching his life literally ebb away in tides from beneath my useless hands...and I understood, right then and there, the true meaning behind "life blood"... (wow. hadn't thought about that one since the last time we talked about this...) 

Anyway, what I was beginning to realize from our studies this week is that from the very moment that God conceived of the notion of creation, He desired man to be with Him BY CHOICE.  He wanted man to CHOOSE life over death. When man CHOSE to turn away, the result was DEATH--on all levels--because life ONLY COMES FROM GOD and therefore anything away from Him is death (does that make sense?).  God IS our LIFE-BLOOD.

In choosing death, we are giving up our "life blood", and therefore we will die--both physically (so that we could eventually understand it more deeply--spiritually) and literally (so that we could understand it so much more deeply across so many more levels--metaphorically!).

But, God, in all of His mercy, and in His desire to give His people that "one more chance" to make it back to Him, allowed for them to give up the "life blood" of an animal in their stead.  And if the STATE of their HEARTS were right with Him, then this "life blood" would be acceptable...for a short time anyway, because it was not the perfect sacrifice. 

But, then, here comes the most beautiful part of all:  
Moses stands before the TWELVE tribes of Israel after they all agreed to "...do everything the Lord has said; we will obey." (ie note that they ACCEPTED their end of the covenant and spoke it aloud so they can now be held accountable--one of the first steps of "relationship"...speaking aloud what is in our hearts) and he says: 

"This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words." (NIV)

and he sprinkles them with the blood of the sacrificed animal and binds them together IN this blood as the new sons and daughters of the family of God. 

NOW, fast forward to the NT.  Looking at Matthew 26:28 and rereading the words we know so well--the ones Jesus spoke as He raised the cup of wine to His TWELVE chosen disciples: 

"This is MY blood of the NEW covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (NIV) 

And THAT was the end of the need for ritual sacrifice for the shedding of imperfect "life blood" to redeem the lives of people who had CHOSEN death instead of life.  Not only was Jesus the perfect sacrifice in sinlessness, but He IS the perfect sacrifice because of His WILLINGNESS. He is also the perfect and last HIGH PRIEST, the perfect LIVING WORD, the ONE and only KING, who leads all who will listen to Him and who re-presents them cleansed and worthy again (ie REDEEMED) before God. 

And suddenly--I saw it all circle back again!! He is the one and only SACRIFICE to fulfill above and beyond all sacrifices. He is the perfect "firstborn son" of the "world-family" of God!! He is...THE Christ--Sacrifice, Priest and Redeemer KING!

So totally cool, isn't it?

And so, I ask myself again...in WHOM do I lay my trust? And HOW am I walking in that trust?

Thoughts on Patriarchs Part One

Hi ladies!

So, I am hoping that this post is finding everyone already deep into the readings for the next session: PATRIARCHS--Part TWO, which carries us from where we left off last class in Genesis 24/25 (the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah and the death of Abraham) and brings us all the way to the end of Genesis (chapter 50!). But before we leave behind the incredible narratives of Abraham's life, I wanted to go ahead and summarize some of the important Truths that have come out in our discussions over the past two weeks. 

(Remember that these are the questions and Truths that popped for me, and are not necessarily the ones that popped for you. So, PLEASE add your own comments and aha! moments in a new Post or added to a new Comment to share with all of those who have not been able to join us in person!)

The most intriguing one for me so far is discovering that in particular, these chapters in Genesis from the Creation narrative all the way through the life and times of Abraham, have been the subject of fascinating theological debate, interpretation, re-interpretation and sometimes quarrelsome parlaying--both formal and informal--for...well, for EVER.  These have occurred (and continue to occur) between and among the greatest philosophers, teachers, and apologists throughout all religions and even amongst the most distant scholars of secular thought, anthropology, literature and science!  And so it seems true that, in the words of our rabbi friends: "...there is no right answer--it is ALL speculation!! Every last one of them..."  

And that's ok.

Over these past two weeks, I've begun to grasp--and maybe even despair a little--that, when it comes to understanding what "really" happened in the Garden and then progressively "east of Eden", upon the mountains of Moriah, in the lands of Nimrod and Shinar and Shechem and Ur...when or why or for how long, I may never know. Even if I were to gain the knowledge of all the "giants" of all the church that have gone before me--those great men and women of truly enviable intellect, experts of ancient languages, lost cultures, social-political history, and long-forgotten practices...I may still never "get it right."

And that's ok.

For awhile there, I have to be honest that I was getting a bit lost in the forest for the trees. As Lorraine can attest to (from the many long and whiny phone calls I made to her), I was truly anguished in my incapability to fully uncover, to fully "understand", to get a solid grasp on what really happened in the Garden of Eden--like, honestly, what did Adam and Eve do that was so heinous that would deserve being booted out of Paradise and literally kickstart humankind's long spiral downward...in life span, in health, harmony, and hope in God...? and What was so "wrong" with Cain's offering and so "right" with Abel's that it resulted in a raging brother-feud ending in mortal conflict and exile--what is that "something" now instilled in us (or maybe "lost" by us) from our breakdown in the Garden, that will cause this scene to be repeated over and over again (in heart and in act!) throughout the history of mankind's furious battle of brother against brother? Oh and what the heck did Ham do to the stuporous Noah that caused Noah to wake up and curse his grandson Canaan?? Like, I can totally imagine the shocked look on Canaan's face when he heard HE was the one being cursed by his granddad. But then again...maybe he wasn't so shocked because, like some teachings in the Talmud infer, maybe Canaan himself was intimately involved too (sodomous orgy with daddo and granddaddo??) or maybe not even there yet (progeny of incestual act between Ham and his...MOM???...well, now, the shocked look was definitely on my own face when I read that one...)  Oh and How did Abraham manage to find the One True God amongst the HUGE plethora of pagan gods in his own world--and then stick with Him even to the point of willingly bringing his long-awaited and promised son to death's door...by his own sword? I totally get that God will speak to whomever is listening but...was no one else listening? Were Noah and Shem and Abram-before-he-was-Abraham all just amazing lone rangers in an otherwise completely messed up world? And what about our Isalmic brothers who believe Ishmael was the promised-almost-sacrificed-on-Moriah son--and not Isaac? Whoa...is this all merely convenient-for-us story-telling? or is there a deeper thread that courses through--and beyond--it all...? 

So, in lieu of dismissing everything as poorly written literary fable (and thus dangerously risk dismissing all or even part of the rest of Scripture as such as well), I finally came to terms with the fact that I, in my wee little brain, will never fully know--nor need to know--exactly where these stories come from, nor do I need to know the explicit (albeit interesting!) historical or political details from which they formed. In fact, the only thing I DO need to grasp from these narratives is that, like throughout ALL of God's love-inspired words to us, there are so many many HolySpirit pearls pouring from them--pearls about life and relationship, about mind sets and perspectives, about falling and getting up again then falling and being lifted instead, about deception and trust, about death and life, about despair and true hope in the midst of confusion and misunderstanding and loss...about God and about man, and about man with (and without!) God, but most importantly about God with man...no matter through which man, in what era, through what event.

And that is SO ok!

I came across a story I had heard long ago--about one of the greatest apologists of all time, St Augustine of Hippo. Here is a part of the article and short commentary:

As the legend goes, once St. Augustine was walking on the beach, contemplating the nature of the Holy Trinity. He had been working for over thirty years on a grand treatise, De Trinitate, in which he sought to explain the rationality of the Trinity. After all, the Holy Trinity is a difficult subject that many people simply have a hard time grasping. And he, being a rational person who was one of the best apologists that the Catholic Church has ever had, hoped that he could be the one to explain it!

As he was walking along the beach, he saw something a bit odd and he stopped to take a look. A boy was running back and forth from the ocean to a spot on the beach, carrying water in a seashell, and dropping the water in a little hole in the sand not too far off.

“My boy,” said St. Augustine. “What are you doing?”

“I am trying to bring all the sea into this hole!” the boy said with a big smile.

St. Augustine looked at the hole, which was tiny, and said, “But that is impossible, my dear child. The hole cannot contain all that water. It is too small.”

“It is no more impossible than what you are trying to do — comprehend the immensity of the mystery of the Holy Trinity with your small mind!”

St. Augustine stopped at his words and glanced away from the boy, surprised by the boy’s response. When he turned back to the boy, he had vanished.

Some say that the child was an angel sent by God to give St. Augustine a reality check...

There is something to be said about letting go and trusting in God, even though there are some things that you just don’t understand! As much as I like apologetics and reasoning through the faith, and as much as I adore the scientific method...God sometimes works in supernatural ways that our brains, which are wired for the natural way of life, have difficulty of even conceiving.

For example, just consider the idea of eternity. Our lives are so dependent on time that it is hard for us to think of God being outside the dimension of time. So, we’ll say things like, “God was here for me at this time of my life… why is He not here for me at this time?” But for God, time doesn’t really mean anything. If He’s there for you at one time, that might mean that He’s there for you for all time! Is that confusing enough? And then one of the most common questions that many agnostics and atheists who struggle with Christianity ask is, “Why did Jesus choose to come at that point of time and let so many suffer in the meantime?” And the answer? Only God knows… because time for Him, an eternal being, is different for us to even try to comprehend.

And so is it with many things about God. We simply can’t understand some things… though we may wish we can...

And perhaps this is a good thing. After all, yes, reason can carry us through a huge amount and help guide us through many tough situations. For many of us who have struggled with questions of doubt about God, like myself, reason has helped bring us closer to God. It is absolutely necessary for us to do our best to develop ourselves intellectually and to use our God-granted intelligence to guide us through certain situations that may not be completely clear.

Yet, at the same time, we should never forget that, at the end of the day, we need to trust in God. Because there will always be something that we cannot understand.

And so, for me, the biggest Truth I came to for these past sessions is this: will I ever be able to fully understand or grasp every nuance and teaching and implied meaning behind the narratives in Genesis or throughout the many stories, parables, events, teachings found in Scripture? No. Absolutely not. But I can listen to what Truths the HolySpirit is speaking INto me through them for my circumstance right now...and listen to what Truths He is speaking into and through every one of us as well.  And in that way, maybe we can all get just a little better understanding of the God who loves us enough to stick with US...even to the point of dying...for us.

And that is an awesome Truth indeed. In the wonder-filled words of David, I find myself asking:

'Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that Thou hast brought me thus far?'

Ok, enough for now. I guess I'll stop here and let everyone else share what has hit you "thus far" these past few weeks? Share! don't forget that there are many of us who cannot join in on our classes each week and are hoping to hear a little of what HolySpirit pearls we might have uncovered along our journey together!

Love, love love

maggie