Wow...so many thoughts have been swirling in my head from Wednesday's session this week. As we worked through the worksheet together in class, I found myself once again floored by the level of honesty, trust and openness of heart in each one of you! I am still pondering the amazing pearls I was able to gather from within each testimony and in every aspect of the deeply personal points of self-reflection that were offered that morning... But most powerfully, I was struck by the depth of the HolySpirit's work through everyone's stories, His words of comfort and hope so quietly but truly spoken into our confusion and pain as we all shared our thoughts, as we all tried so hard to name our most deep-seated concerns...and as we all willingly forced ourselves to consider how and where and in what way our God was asking us to "surrender INTO Him."
For me, I think the hardest thing to pin down in my own journey throughout this entire process so far was what we practiced doing in class this week: naming my focus, naming my fear, recognizing the intent of my heart clearly enough so that I could begin to form the question:
"Wait..is THIS what/how/where You want me to give in to You, Lord?"
Predictably then, as we went around the room to consider where our hearts have been wandering and upon what has been the scattered focus of our minds, I think we were all struck by how distinctive, wholehearted and intimately personal our walks have been this week. There are so many things that are currently weighing down our spirits right now...from overwhelming family issues to illnesses and concerns of friends and beloveds, and of course, the oppressive, clamoring, confusion and fear engulfing the nation as we all find ourselves hurtling into the final week of the election during an already divisive and devastating pandemic. Not surprisingly, when we shared the things the HolySpirit has been asking us to “surrender”--how He has been asking us to “give in” and “partner with/in God”--our answers were, again, as diverse, as singular and as wide-ranging as were our circumstances:
“stepping away...as a voluntary act of love”
“motivating myself to just sit and truly rest in the stillness...to hear God”
“remembering to remember...and then to trust God enough to allow myself to let go of...worry? fear of...abandonment? fear of...failure?”
“releasing my grip on fear and be ok with the labor and uncertainty of...?"
“taking a moment to somehow try and peer through the lens of thanksgiving”
“leaning into the hope of…?”
“not being afraid to hope”
“choosing to listen only to the voice of Truth over all other voices clamoring around and inside of me”
“challenging my belief systems and stripping away my preconceived notions”
“looking forward through the turbulence and pain of transition and change”
“changing my perspective to realign with God’s...or at least to reorient it to the reality of the depth of God’s goodness and faithfulness to me”
I love how, in asking the question Where or in what way do You want me to surrender, Lord?, we most often find the answer is NOT a worldly one...not some THING to give up or to do/not to do. But rather, the answer is a shift in a state of being, a state of mind, a change in perspective that allows us to be grounded in spiritual Truth and in the reality of HIS presence, provision and love "for me"..."for him"..."for her"..."for us"...SO THAT we can walk in the turmoil of this world a little more steadfastly, discern HIS path a little more clearly, align and act upon our choices a little more confidently, hope more fully and love more deeply.
It is this clearer perspective that can empower me to persevere through the horrendous trials and difficult labors of our broken world, to walk fully aware and fully engaged in partnership with the ones God has called into my arena (and me into theirs). But most importantly, this is the perspective, the state of being, the state of mind with which I can give my self over, to walk in full partnership with the God who has asked me to focus my sights and my hopes only upon Him....no matter what. Ok, so like Lorraine always reminds us: my circumstances will most likely not be changed, and the details of my situation will still be the same...but my perspective will allow me to stop spinning my wheels and to walk--or just stand if that's all I can do--steadfastly through the storm. Even when it still hurts.
And that is my singular focus for this week: Stop turning my head to look in fear at the scary problem. FOCUS ONLY upon God. See ONLY GOD in this...and be filled with wonder and praise.
My verses for this week are:
Psalm 100:4
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise.
Is 30:15
In returning to rest is your salvation and in trust is your strength.
Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and HE will direct your paths.
Thanks for continuing on this journey with us, O Red Tent Sisters mine! Take the time every day to ponder, pray, listen, and commit!
What have you named as that ONE ASPECT of Surrender to focus upon this week?
Hello friends, Thank you Maggie for all your emails, especially the meeting summaries that help keep those of us who are unable to join, in the loop...they are greatly appreciated. Even though I am unable to join I am thinking a lot about what you're talking about. Right now for me, I recognize how I honestly feel inside about certain people and certain situations in my life and I feel bad for how I honestly feel. I haven't been feeling very charitable. I pray a lot about it. I talk directly to Jesus. Sometimes I drag my feet in doing so because I'm afraid He'll be mad/frustrated with me because I haven't changed/because I keep complaining about the same things. Albert Einstein supposedly said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Now I'm trying to go against the grain and make more charitable choices where lately I've been stubborn and dug my feet in, doing maybe what I think was right instead....which I'm sure is not helping my situation ultimately. I think that's where fake it until you make it comes in...I'm kind of "faking" being charitable/kind (because it's not how I honestly feel inside towards a certain person but I still feel perhaps it's what God is asking me to be or it's the right thing to do) until hopefully it becomes a better habit/changes my heart/comes more naturally. I have to start somewhere. Mostly I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is in my particular situation...I get confused about it..the situation feels complex. I want to trust God will help me figure it all out. Another verse I rely on is Be still and know that I am God. Especially when I recognize my brain getting chaotic about stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I can share about surrender is a phrase I often say to myself...I surrender the outcome to you Jesus (I must give credit where it's due..I learned that from Angel's daughter, Emily, during one of the Antioch retreats). It helps me to try and let go and accept what God wants, believing that He is working all things for good. I feel like it helps me give Him control especially when I feel I'm worrying too much about something. It's not easy by any means.
Well I've been wanting to share and it's hard to find the time, so this is my brief contribution. Love and Hugs to you all, Carol Ann